September 25th, 2008

Sometimes I don't know what to do. Part of me is in love with the idea of being a real follower of Jesus, of truly submitting myself to his claims and letting go of the things that i think will make me happy in this miserable world. What do I do? Oh you know. I go on indulging myself. I just don't know that I can even help myself. There are things I'd like to do and be, but I'm just not.

Today I had lunch with Heather and she mentioned that Taylor had said to Lane that he just wanted to exist. He cared about nothing more than drinking beer, playing video games, and existing. Most of the time I can relate to this. My motivation to be anything more is often stripped by my realization (or so I think) of how meaningless everything is. I suppose that my idea that certain things and people are meaningless stems from something much deeper, some gutteral belief that most of this is pointless.

The funny thing is that at the same time, I would call myself a believer in Jesus. Please explain that to me.

Just Me

This is the blog where I just write about me. I don't give a fuck if anyone reads it. I just post my thoughts about myself. Really, I'm a giant loser. I have no confidence and I miander through life wishing that people liked me more. How sad is that?